In the Family of Things

Just finished reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gift From the Sea".  Her name came to me because she was quoted by Erica Bauermeister, a wonderful Northwestern author I recently stumbled on. I didn't realize Anne was Charles Lindbergh's wife until I read "About the Author" at the end of the book. Knowing that didn't change anything, in fact ignorance is a bliss in this case, my mind wasn't contaminated. Her writing "stood on its own feet" as she encouraged women to do in their relationships, and she claimed that it is essential women carved out time for solitude, because "women need to come of age by herself - she must find her true center alone." 


I was shocked to learn that Gift from the Sea was written in 1955, 56 years ago. It boggled my mind that while Ann Morrow Lindbergh was an American mother of five who lived in the suburb of Connecticut, I was a tiny-winy one-year old girl living with my Chinese parents in Hsinchu, Taiwan. Neither of us knew our paths would cross one day and there existed a kinship between us.    


Yesterday I stumbled on another book by accident(or was it?), "They Say I Say, the Moves that Matter in Academic Writing." I was actually using the book as a prop in my Chinese Language class at the Y, and the page opened to a hard-to-ignore paragraph highlighted in dayglow orange, "Writers who cannot show that others should care and do care about their claims will ultimately lose their audiences' interest. This answered why Ann Morrow Lindbergh's book captivated my interest 56 years later - she cared and she convinced me that I should care too. 


It's not the first time that books show up in my life and answer the questions I happen to be asking at the time. I have not written for a while and the blog has become a place for announcements. I'm going back to Taiwan for three months this winter and I've been thinking whether I should continue writing.  Ann Morrow Lindbergh convinced me good writing transcends time and space; and the They Say I Say book reminded me I should only write what I really care about and write it well.


This morning I saw one of my niece in Taiwan thanking my other niece on Facebook - "Thank you for being in my life." It made me so happy and proud to hear that, not only because I am their aunty but because I felt this ageless bond between women.  In the past year, I've been reflecting on the legacy of women in my family; I was thinking more about older women like my mother and sisters, how they live their lives before and after their men are gone. Today seeing my nieces comments and sisterly bond on Facebook reminds me again why I love and care about women. Before I become the next Amy Tan, here is a great poem to share with you. May you find your place in the family of things. 


Wild Geese


You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting .
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting ---
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.


- Mary Oliver